Writer Name: Shannon Freud, MSW, RSW https://www.shannonfreudcounselling.com/about
Keyword: mental health, family
Related keywords: family issues, addictions, family trauma, intergenerational trauma
How to navigate your family through the mental health struggles of one family member
Key Takeaways
1. caregiving struggles
2. dealing with the stigma of mental health
3. advocating for your child’s rights and needs
4. how to handle crisis situations
5. witnesses to mental health struggles
Caregiving can get exhausting
How to provide the support when you don't have the spoons
Finding the breaks you can take for yourself, small as they might be
Parents and caregivers can feel worn down, maxed out, or even just helpless with trying to support their children. How do parents support them in these times, too?
Call a friend who you know gets it
Talk to a therapist, if you feel you're internalizing it (there might be some things to uncover here that might only be possible with a therapist)
Find breaks and times to rest - get out of the house, do something that helps to feed your soul, and replenish your spoons
The stigma of mental health struggles
Feeling, and fearing judgment from others about mental health, prevents us from talking about it, and normalizing it
Let's keep talking about mental health
While the world has become a lot more knowledgeable about mental health in the past several years, there is still stigma that follows those with mental health struggles
Cultivating a supportive family is a cornerstone in the support for a child with mental health challenges, or pervasive difficulties (at home, school, in the community)
Elgar, Craig & Trites (2013) note that “longitudinal studies have found that an authoritative parenting style and open and respectful communication between family members that engages kids and youth in a rational, issue-oriented manner both contribute to adolescents’ social competence and reduce the likelihood of mental health problems and risky behaviours” (p. 433). The idea is that in providing structure and healthy boundaries, families can reduce the risk of mental health issues
Try not to internalize your kid's struggles
Focus on what they need (ask your kid, or suggest the following)
space?
company?
someone to talk to?
help with breathing (or other strategies) to calm their nerves?
reassurance (this won't last forever, I'm here for you)?
validation? Check out this page on my site, for more help with this https://www.shannonfreudcounselling.com/couples-therapy (while you're not a couple, the same strategies apply)
Advocating for your kid's rights and needs
When you kid's struggles have an impact on home, school, and in the community, they can be vulnerable to bullying, and being treated unfairly, in those locations
Try this strategy:
Describe, evaluate, problem-solve (Moran, DJ. (2022) Acceptance and Commitment Therapy video, PESI Education)
Make sure you're both on board with how to handle the situation - what do they need from you, can they advocate on their own?
What is the plan moving forward?
How to handle crisis situations
Aim to be the calm in the storm
This can be difficult to do, but knowing some strategies can help
What does your kid need in that moment? It's okay to ask them - we are all the best people to ask when it comes to knowing our own needs
Maintaining your cool (this is easiest to do when you're getting all your needs met - sleeping, eating, exercise, drinking enough water throughout the day, for starters). Therapy can help with more strategies, like creating a safety plan
When to call for more mental health support
If your kid said they're feeling unsafe, want to go to the hospital, or they make unsafe, and/or impulsive decisions (go to emergency room, and/or call 911, depending on severity)
You're feeling worn out with supporting them (it's okay to feel this; you're human!), and need someone to step in to continue supporting them
Witnesses to mental health struggles
When your kid has pervasive difficulties, others may be exposed to those issues. Knowing how to handle, and respond to others, can be an important part of supporting your kid
Preserve your kid's dignity and privacy
Include your kid's supports
Consider your kid's boundaries
Check in with them about what they need from those around them
For young children in the families who have mental health struggles, it can help to talk about it in simplistic terms, while naming and validating the feelings for them
Conclusion
There are many layers, when it comes to supporting and providing care for someone, who is struggling with their mental health. Having some unbiased support from a therapist, can help you to navigate these struggles, and continue to be there for your family